Sometimes I think that how many houses are being destroyed due to the curse of dowry. Don’t these greedy people have daughters”.. They were not daughters?… No one knows when our society will get rid of the curse of dowry.
Respected Hakeem Sahab Assalamo Alaikum!Your monthly Ubqari is not less than a precious gift. I was getting proposals again and again but my parents had no interest. I read about Two Precious Treasures in your magazine and I started reciting them which changed my life. I got engaged to a place and soon I am getting married there.
Now the problem I am facing is like the biggest problem of my life which has disturbed me a lot. I am the only sister of three brothers and my age is over 30 years now. I am serving as a professor in a local college and also continuing with my education. My would-be husband is an engineer but he is unable to pass the specialization exams. I am living in a city but he belongs to village. But now those people have started making strange demands for example, they have demanded for giving 300 dresses to the family of the groom on Barat day and 300 dresses on seventh day of marriage. They have no culture of walima and moreover they asked for gold jewelry sets of 5 tolas each to the sister in law, mother in law and other aunties in their family. Besides this, they have so many demands. When I asked the groom about the dress of Nikkah ceremony, than he got angry on it saying that they have no such practice and asked me to find any other man for me and stopped talking to me for some time.
Respected Hakeem Sahab! Now my parents are arranging dowry for me and taunting me that I will live in a hostel in the city and they will use my stuff in village and you are lottery for them. I am clearyl seeing greed from my in laws and the groom is less interested in me day by day. All the time he keeps on taunting me about my parents and things. I am worried about my future that how I will manage things in future and how I will fulfill their tough demands. Don’t know when what demands come in my way? my parents are not happy with my in laws and they are not happy with my parents and now I am even fed up with the beautiful relation like marriage which is now falling pray to customs and norms of the society.
Hakeem Sahab! I want to manage my life and start a new married life but why all this is happening to me. Sometimes I think that how many houses are being destroyed due to the curse of dowry. Don’t these greedy people have daughters”... They were not daughters? No one knows when our society will get rid of the curse of dowry. The curse of dowry has destroyed how many houses and still many families are being destroyed. And we the daughters are suffering from this. (H, N).
Dowry is a Civilized Curse:
Today, how many youths have withered in their houses? Today, how many respected families are being auctioned in markets? Today, how many youngsters are destroying themselves with their own hands. If we will not get rid of this dowry curse and make Nikkah easier and cheap than a flood of misguidance with come and take away everything. Today hour, Muslim society is imprisoned in the chains of dowry and Muslims are only worried about these cruel and unIslamic customs. The customs in the name of dowry are killing the social values which have no link with Islam. Taking cash and other things in name of dowry is the pattern of non Muslims and it is pure Hindu custom. The fact is that dowry is a curse and we the Muslims have accepted this curse in name of traditions and culture and no one can disagree with this truth that this curse has reshaped our society.
There is no doubt that current face of dowry is a destructive custom today. Parents give their daughter some things according to their feelings and as way of showing their affection, love and care which is a natural way but copying Hindu traditions, now this custom have become a demand in Muslims. Fulfilling this demands, how many housed are been destroyed. The birth of daughter which according to Islamic teachings was a good omen, this demand has turned it into a bad omen. The birth of a girl is a blessing but greedy people have left nothing to turn it into a curse. It is surprising that the daughter can demand anything from her parents and it’s her basic right to ask her parents for things and she takes care of her parent’s financial position while asking for anything but the would-be groom has no such right to demand anything from the parents of the girl in the name of dowry. It is a civilized beggary which is being accepted in the name of traditions and customs. Islam gives the right of asking for anything only in two conditions, if there is a beggar or if the one asking for thing is so poor and needy that is difficult for him to spend life. Obviously, the would-be groom and in laws have no right to ask for anything even if they are needy. Hazrat Abu Huraira (رضی اللہ عنہ) narrates that apostle (صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم) of Allah said that whosoever asks for anything for expanding his finances, he asks for fire, even if he asks for less or more. (Ibne Maja)
The custom of dowry has been widely spread in the society like a cancer due to which other crimes and worst things like suicide, theft, divorce, tortured deaths, cheating and other issues are taking place.
Poor parents take loan for dowry of their daughters and spend in whole lives in returning the loans but still they stay busy in fulfilling the demands of their son in law just to keep the house if their daughter safe. The custom of dowry is a curse and condemnable, neither it is obligatory nor it is Sunnat. It has no reality but it is a cancer for the society. If this is stopped than marriages will become cheap and many young daughters will get rid of such worries and poor parents can fulfill their responsibilities easily.
